I was having a conversation recently with someone I respect a great deal. He asked how work was going, and I told him about the new book I’m writing and how much fun I’m having. I shared that when I drive to my office in the morning, I no longer think of it as ‘going to work’; I feel like I’m ‘going to play.’ I genuinely love what I do. I enjoy studying my craft, working on new ideas, and trying to make a meaningful contribution to my profession.
Then I asked him how he felt about his work.
He told me he enjoyed his job, wanted to do good work, and cared about delivering a quality work product. But he had no desire to immerse himself in his industry or make his career the defining part of his life.
That didn’t surprise me. I’ve known him for years, and he has never been especially passionate about his work. He has always been deeply committed to his family. His kids are involved in sports and other activities, and he wants to spend as much time with them as he can. Raising great kids is his top priority. I admire how clear he is about what is truly important in his life.
As I thought about that conversation, I realized how often society sends people a very different message.
Entrepreneurs who work eighty-hour weeks are celebrated. Executives who are always connected, always available, and completely consumed by the business are often held up as examples. Books, podcasts, and social media are filled with stories of people who built extraordinary careers by making work the center of their lives. There is nothing wrong with choosing that path. For some people, their work is their life.
The issue is when that becomes the standard people feel pressured to meet. A person should never believe they are somehow falling short because they want to reserve the best of their energy for family, faith, community, health, or something else that gives their life meaning.
One reason I think about this so often is because I see the other side of it in my coaching work.
Many of the CEOs and senior executives I have coached are exceptionally driven people. They push themselves hard, sometimes unreasonably hard. They hold themselves to a standard that borders on perfection and expect the same level of commitment from the people around them. It can be difficult for them to understand why others do not think the same way.
I don’t think there is one right way to think about work.
Some people choose to make their job the central focus of their lives. Others choose a different path. The important thing is to make that choice consciously. Don’t let your company, social media, or someone else’s definition of success decide what your life should look like. Take the time to decide for yourself where you want to invest your time and your heart.
If you want to follow Steve Jobs’ advice and “put a dent in the universe,” go for it. If you want to make sure you never miss one of your kids’ games or give your time to a local charity, go for that too. Both are honorable choices.
Organizations are expecting more from the people they bring in to speak.
A strong keynote still matters. But leaders are also looking for practical tools, planning support, useful takeaways, and someone who understands the pressure behind the event.
John Spence does not just walk on stage, deliver a keynote, and leave. He works with you as a trusted partner from the first planning conversation through the final follow-up.
