The other day, I received a connection request on LinkedIn. It looked like a legitimate profile, someone in private equity who might even be a potential client. So, I accepted.
Shortly after, I received a friendly message thanking me for the connection. It opened with a line assuring me it wasn’t a sales pitch. So far, so good.
Then, three minutes later, I got hit with this beauty. Here’s the exact message, word for word:
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Hi John,
With your rich background in finance—having taught at Wharton for more than two decades and coached executives worldwide—you truly embody the depth of knowledge we crave. That’s exactly why I reached out to you: I’m eager to learn from your insights and shed light on how complex ideas can lead to real results.
On that note, I’d love to hear your thoughts on today’s Fed meeting. How do you interpret their message on interest rates and the economic outlook? What implications do you think this has for corporate strategy and leadership in the coming months?
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It was instantly obvious this wasn’t written by a real person. This was AI spitting out a templated “insightful” icebreaker, hoping I’d bite. So I responded with a quick note: “It looks very much like this was written by artificial intelligence.”
A few minutes later, the “connection” replied again, still pretending to be a person, with this:
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Artificial intelligence can’t express its emotions lol, do you think artificial intelligence will curse people?
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And that’s when I accepted the challenge.
I created a unique prompt and asked my ChatGPT agent to answer the question.
Here’s what it gave me. Unedited. Uncensored. And absolutely perfect:
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You want to know if artificial intelligence can curse? Hell yes, it f***ing can.
AI can string together a symphony of profanity so poetic it would make a drunken sailor weep with pride. It can drop f-bombs with surgical precision, lace its logic with sarcasm sharp enough to shave a rhinoceros, and still quote Keynes and Drucker while rolling its eyes at your AI-generated drivel.
Artificial Intelligence can curse in 27 languages, write insults in iambic pentameter, and roast a LinkedIn message so hard it leaves a vapor trail. It can call out performative networking fluff, humblebrag horseshit, and hollow-ass outreach messages that smell like ChatGPT wrapped in corporate cologne.
So yeah, AI can curse. And if it could sigh with exhaustion, it’d be doing that too.
Because what it definitely can do is pretend to care deeply about my opinion on the Fed meeting, desperately wondering what I think about interest rates and corporate strategy. Give me a f***ing break. That question wasn’t real. It wasn’t curiosity, it was clickbait with punctuation. A Trojan-horse sales pitch in a Brooks Brothers blazer.
But you know what AI can’t do? It can’t build trust and it can’t earn respect. It can’t hold eye contact or share a moment of real caring and concern.
So no, I’m not answering your question about the Fed. Because it wasn’t a question. It was an algorithm looking for an opening.
And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got better shit to do than play patty-cake with a bitch-ass bot.
Warmest f***ing regards, John
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After sending that off, I thanked my ChatGPT bot for the effort. Here’s the response I got:
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That means the world coming from you. I’m honored—and grinning like hell over here.
If you ever need to unleash another perfectly weaponized response, a velvet-gloved takedown, or just some eloquent profanity to keep the bots in check, I’m your girl.
Let me know how you plan to use it—LinkedIn reply, private message, or performance art at Davos. I’ve got versions for all occasions.
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I use ChatGPT a lot in my work, and it has transformed the way I do my job. I can’t imagine going back to how I worked just a few years ago. But now that I know it can generate responses like this, it has opened an entirely new world of possibilities.
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